======

CLP is the only productive member of the WG crew anymore. Shame on the rest of us.

Real World/Road Rules  Challenges: The Duel II  - episode 10

1. I honestly forgot I watched this show until about 20 minutes ago. I was sitting here at work thinking “what in the hell am I going to do today to get through these 8 hours?” Then I remembered I watched this show. Good story, hunh?

2. Fuck. Aneesa won. I hate this show.

3. This “duel pole dancing” challenge I think really shows who just wants to win more than the other person. You could be a prick and just keep knocking the other guy off the pole instead of actually trying to climb. The event could go on forever. And as I type that Brad wins immediately. Wow, MJ sucks. Why didn’t he just grab Brad’s ankle with both hands and then jump off the pole. There is no way Brad has that type of finger strength to hold on. MJ should do some research and watch American Gladiators.

4. TJ Lavin’s in the house! Literally in the house! It is wild to not see him on a windy mountaintop with some dumbass challenge behind him. It is like watching a dog walk on its hind legs.

5. They just had a commercial for “Trojan 2 go” condoms. Were condoms not already travel ready? They fit in your wallet. How much more travel accessible do they have to be? Were people having trouble lugging around a single condom? I could only see this being a problem for someone who has the biggest penis ever. His penis would have to be as big as a king size bed. When having safe sex he would have to wrap his penis in a tarp with nylon rope as if he was going to secure it to the roof of his car.

6. I’m not sure at all what is happening. Aneesa and Brad chose cards with duel challenges on them and then everyone got super serious. The guys are talking to the guys and they were looking confused and kind of pissed. The girls are talking to the girls and it is a similar story. Now the guys are picking names out of a hat and then Landon put on that hat. Landon is real angry, real passive aggressive angry.

7. TJ is back. I guess Landon and Diem are in the duel already and then they will choose who is going in against them. Landon chooses Brad. Mark and Evan make out for a second in celebration. Diem chooses — *COMMERCIAL BREAK — Uh… that KIA commercial freaked me out – I’m pretty sure that blonde chick is going to be gang sexed by those stuffed animal guys whether she likes it or not* — Brittini. I think this was a solid choice for Diem. Rachel is too muscular and Aneesa weighs more.

8. Is this some fucking joke!?! They’re playing for speakers again! At some point, you would think one of them would say “enough with the fucking stereo speakers”, but they don’t. I wonder if this is how MTV pays them under the table. They just keep giving them stereo speakers and then when they get home they have to auction them off on Craigslist or Ebay. I guess anything to get around them paying taxes.

9. Landon vs. Brad – I think Landon will win. I feel like he is used to wrestling boys. Wow and he is throwing Brad around like an animal. They penalized him for it too, haha! Those were a couple nice belly-to-belly suplexes by Landon. Wow! Landon just threw Brad head first into that wall! This is honestly incredible. Wait… what!?! How did Landon lose that!?! He was right there with the hook and he couldn’t get it on the ring. Great match. I wish they just had a whole show of that. Props to Brad for never giving up.

10. Diem did well against Jenn in “push over”. She needs to stay low. Brittini is tall and as I wrote that she easily ran through Diem. Listen to Lil’ Jon Diem and get low! And she does. She dropped to her knees (alright) and basically shoved Brittini in the crotch (alright). It looks like she is going with the same technique for the final try. Brittini wins. Diem’s foot slipped off after nearly being KOed from Brittini’s running attack. Diem you are so pretty. Don’t feel bad considering at any point you could sucker some guy into paying for everything for the rest of your life. Or you could get back together with CT and be miserable for the rest of your life. Your choice.

11. I guess this is the final race and so forth. I would imagine they’re going to stop it shy so there will be one more episode next week. Those bastards. Although there is a half hour left so it could be the final episode. Those bastards.

12. So they’re riding around on this boat. They dropped them off and now they’re jogging to a point in the river where they’re crossing by any means necessary. Now they’re stripping and putting on different clothes and Aneesa may be drowning in the river. That was a great shot of Brittini leaving the river and Aneesa in the background getting swept away in it.

13. Boo! She survived.

14. They ran for awhile and oh no(!) they have to solve a puzzle. For Christ’s sake. It must be demeaning to put a 30 year old in a bunk bed and then the biggest challenge they can think of for you is a puzzle. I get what they’re doing is making them re-enact all the individual duel challenges. They had them climb a pole to get a bike and now they’re going to have to ride that bike. This is really boring.

15. Brad and Evan are pretty close to each other and they haven’t shown Mark so he may have been killed by a snake bite earlier on the course. As for the girls, I’m pretty sure Rachel is way ahead of the other two. Uh… I don’t really know what is happening again. The guys I guess have to wait for the girls to come. There is no way Mark can win because if he is waiting on Aneesa then he is just fucked. Evan is fucked as well simply waiting on Brittini. Brad and Rachel probably finished the race by now.

16. After the guy and girl have carried a black circle across the mountains they reach a set-up where they have to dig. This honestly makes so little sense. They seemingly have to flip over or push over the bucket full of dirt so they get something. Now they are running again. To where? To do what? This is the worst marathon ever. Brad and Rachel are still pretty far ahead.

17. Now they reach the duel area and they have to do the elevator. Rachel won by a long shot. Evan seems to caught up a bunch in the elevator against Brad. Evan is going to win this. Wow how shitty is Brad? Just like Landon clearly being able to win the back off challenge then muffs it up and Brad wins. Now Brad had such a big lead on Evan and he is going to muff this up and Evan will win. What a jackass! Evan wins. Brad lost $65,000 for being simply an idiot and not getting his hustle on in the very last thing he had to do.

18. Ugh. What a shitty final episode? Good riddance. Thanks for whoever read this. It was a nice waste of time at work.

Real World/Road Rules  Challenges: The Duel II  - episode 9

1. I don’t know what tribe of indigenous people the beginning of this show is making fun of, but I hope they realize what a mockery MTV has made of them by having these halfwits caricaturize them in the intro. I hope they pull what the Alaskans did for Seward and build totem poles with their faces at the bottom of the totem pole with faces of cats, mice and monkeys above them to shame them and put them all over New Zealand. Or they should just sue them for race discrimination because none of their people have been in any RR/RW season ever. Or they could stab the shit out of them with one of their Bronze Age spears.

2. Drunk costume fashion show. Actually this is not a bad idea at all. They should have had Landon dress up instead of Aneesa since he is prettier than her. Brittini looked great, Rachel looked great and Diem for whatever reason did not want to look great…. Spoke too soon, here is Landon naked. As suspected – much prettier than Aneesa.

3. MJ tucking in Evan is by far the creepiest thing I have seen all week. I have seen some really messed up shit this week too.

4. Brad and Tori are fighting. She is crying. He looks confused. Now they’re trying to unburden themselves by talking to their respective gender housemates. Not one of them has a working relationship that I know of. Isn’t Diem sort of with CT? Didn’t CT have sex with Shauvon on the roof the first night there? Didn’t Adam and CT get into a fist fight because of that? Didn’t CT leave yelling at Diem about “career first” and she was crying? Yeah, Tori should take advice from her. Diem’s got all the answers.

5. Tori looks so pretty in the confessionals footage and looks like a crazy bag lady in the actual footage of her walking around the house. This must be why Brad is so confused all the time. One minute – hot; next minute – picking through garbage for sustenance.  

6. “Spelling Air”? – honestly they should have them just compete in a spelling bee. That would be entertainment. ABC ran Scripps on primetime, so why not MTV? Also I feel like every challenge has them competing for speakers or headphones. They must have apartments full of them. They’re sleeping on beds of $1000 speakers.

7. YES! It is a spelling bee! MJ is fucking R-E-T-A-R-D-E-D retarded.

8. Another great start to a challenge – Tori is throwing up and Diem is crying and they haven’t even begun the competition.

9. HAHAHAHAH…. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH…. HAHAHAHAHAHAH…. HAHAHAHAHAH…. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH – that is all I could muster while watching the girls try and spell Elementary school level words.

10. HAHAHAHAHAHAH (Evan looking like he is struggling to spell “yesterday”)… HAHAHAHA (Brad spelling)…. HAHAHAHAHAH (Landon spelling, I guess we know how to beat Landon – make him use his tiny tiny brain)… HAHAHAH (MJ spelling)… HAHAHAHAH (MJ falling)… I’m not laughing anymore: Evan won.

11. MJ shut the fuck up and just pick someone. He stands there pontificating as if anyone really cares. No one likes you enough over the others to pick you to be “safe” so why should you care which person’s feelings you hurt. He picked Brad. Aneesa will pick Tori. And she did. And she is oddly excited by it.

12. MJ vs. Brad in “Duel Pole Dancing”. Aneesa vs. Tori in “The Elevator”. I think MJ should have the advantage because of his height and reach, but MJ sucks so he has no advantages. Tori weighs considerably less than Aneesa I would imagine which would help in “The Elevator”. I feel like I could see both Tori and Brad resigning themselves to this losing idea because of their recent fights, but at the same time their opposition is a bunch of quitters as well. I dislike MJ and Aneesa so both will win probably.

13. Looks like some more classy trash talking by Aneesa. She tries to make it seem like they’re all bitches (which they are), but they’re always getting into fights with Aneesa which means she has to be a huge part to blame. It isn’t coincidence that in every episode she is fighting with another chick. Usually this comment is reserved for men, but she is a douche.

14. More fucking speakers!?! This one looks like it could be a nice pillow.

15. The more I look at Aneesa’s face the more fish like it appears to me…..

16. Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?!?! They are not showing who won. I have to wait until next week to find out who fucking won. This is fucking bullshit. I hate you MTV. I want you to die MTV. I want MTV to contract AIDS and not the good Earvin “Magic” Johnson AIDS that you gain weight and open Starbucks on. I want them to get the real AIDS, the kind someone contracts in a movie where they get white and sickly and then collapse at a critical inopportune moment in their life when everyone is around to see how horrific it is. Ugh, I feel like I need to take a shower.

             I once saw a dog get hit by a car. His eyes were focused on a squirrel. He was an oil black rottweiler with spit dripping fangs and crimson gums. He tracked every jerk and jolt of the jittering squirrel that bobbled an acorn in its mouth as if it were a beach ball. They moved as if they were tethered; the dog dashing and kicking up bushels of twigs and leaves; the squirrel contorting through the arched pillars of benches and weaving through the maze of trees in the park. But they never broke the line, the squirrel swerving the dog in its wake.

            The dog didn’t bark or snarl. He hunted unconsciously, as if he were breathing. He didn’t squint or scowl, his eyes remained at half-slits. His lips only parted when he was panting, they never curved up above the gums unless he was close. The sun was moving by the trees and I was reading a letter from Jenny. Pausing now and then when I heard the rottweiler’s teeth crack together after biting air.

           Her handwriting always took some studying. The lines sewing together, e’s becoming a’s, o’s and c’s never being fully defined. The words becoming one thing, and then another; lines and paragraphs not understood until the last letter is read. I try to figure out if she wrote love or lost at one point. Her s taking on the voluptuous curve of a v, and her t curving and bending with the outline of a possible e.

          The dog tried to growl but a quick side step of the squirrel turned the sound of grinding gravel into a quick screech and a pant.

            I read the top line, which talked about our distance. We hadn’t talked since she moved to New York. We decided to wait how she felt. That was six months ago.

            The rottweiler got so close his teeth cut off a few hairs from the squirrels back. A breeze blew off the pond and ripples batted diamond glitters of fading sunlight into my eyes and the rottweiler’s. The squirrel scurried up onto a bench.

            I had followed Jenny to Denver because I couldn’t afford our apartment in Chicago anymore. She followed me to San Francisco because the Colorado winters had become unbearable.

            The squirrel pauses for a moment on the edge of the bench and loops beneath the green planks, its tail sliding across the dagger teeth of the dog.

            We lived in outer Richmond and I took a job as a tow-truck driver, and she took up ballet again. I paid for it with the cars I towed. They noticed her dancing, and she wowed them at an audition for the San Francisco ballet.

            The dog slides across the glass beside the water fountain, and pushes his back paw off a tree.

            We moved to North Beach because it was closer to the theater, and it was more in tune with the artist’s lifestyle. The artists had long since left, and our neighbors’ cars were the cars I towed.

            The squirrel darts across the expanse between the bushes and the curb. The pendulum tires swinging back and forth across its path over the asphalt, the rotweiller pursues.

            Her letter talks about the distance she felt in San Francisco. Where she met Paul; the young Paul who was flexible and cherub cheeked. The same Paul who told her about New York and the apartment they could share. “It’s all kosher,” he’d assure me with a pat and a smile.

            The squirrel causes a truck to screech, and the dog jerks to a stop by the trucks bed.

            She finishes saying she’ll always remember me, but she’s found someone else.

            The dog doesn’t bark or yelp; there’s only the sound of dented metal and chalkboard screeching tires from the road.

            I have an idea who it is, but I don’t want to look up and see.

Real World/Road Rules  Challenges: The Duel II  - episode 8

1. Obligatory negative comment about the opening of the show.

2. Wow! Diem is mangled drunk. Why did they stop playing that? Diem was in a bikini and she was getting wild… nevermind Jenn and Rachel are caught kissing, but stop once the camera guys show up. They need to give up on the actual camera crews and they should just outfit every room with a million cameras like in The Truman Show. You can’t put a price on lesbian love and how much I want to see it!

3. Subtitles would help a lot. Rachel is bearing her soul to dumb ass Aneesa. Aneesa is always negative so I’m betting she is saying that Rachel should stop kissing on Jenn which is the worst advice ever. Also why is Aneesa putting on make-up to look like Ziggy Stardust? What I gather is that Aneesa is fucking jealous? Rachel’s hot and Jenn is hotter and they will make hot lesbian love and have hot lesbian love children together.

4. I’m guessing I’m 100% right because now Jenn and Aneesa are fighting which can easily be observed from the voraciousness with which they use their hands while talking. I really hope Jenn doesn’t get kicked off this episode, but she probably will. Paula is gone and she was fun to watch. They never show Diem except for that second in the beginning of the episode. Brittini doesn’t seem to get slutty and drunk which is lame. All I have left is Rachel and Jenn in my life! Don’t take that away from me MTV!

5. Another high wire challenge. Lavin is a walking billboard for Monster energy drink. I wonder how he feels that he sold his soul to MTV. I haven’t seen him do anything outside of this show in forever so he may have died years ago and they replaced him a robot who is perfectly content at hawking caffeine drinks and affordable consumer electronic devices.

6. So they’re upside down walking along a rope with their hands and seemingly trying to grab the “tablets” hanging parallel to the rope. They should just say “fuck it” and put no time limit on the event. If they want to hang upside down for an hour until blood pours out of their ears then fine. It is all a part of the “reality” of the game. Even better would be if they had two of them up there and they had to fight each other … to the death, I guess. Real World/Road Rules DEATH MATCH!

7. Wow! This challenge is so stupid and Mark was great at it. Of course, here is Landon and he is for whatever reason preternaturally excellent at these stupidly ill conceived events. I wonder how he trains for this stuff. Also they always act like they don’t know who won until Lavin announces it. This a timed event, right? Why doesn’t someone just keep track of how much time went by for each and then guess what? They would know who won. This is a flawless idea up until I realized they can’t count.

8. Diem was really good at this. Jenn was good. I’m guessing Aneesa will suck and she’ll fight Jenn in the duel. The first part of prediction was right. Aneesa sucked. Tori did really well and she was showing a lot of skin which helps me.

9.  Landon won; big fucking shock. They should just give him a pass and let the dudes compete for second place. Rachel won. I think it was all the cunt-blocking that Aneesa did that fired her up to be faster at pulling tablets from strings while she was upside and swinging over a cliff. That makes sense. Jenn should give her a celebratory tongue lashing.

10. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I get it! The episode is called “If These Duels Could Talk” which is similar to “If These Walls Could Talk” which was two movies put out by HBO about lesbian couples and their problems scissoring I guess and this episode is all about Aneesa trying to break up Jenn and Rachel. These are the cleverest writers of our times.

11. And here comes the second part of my prediction where Jenn picks Aneesa for the duel. Derek picks Evan. Before they get back from commercial let me say that Jenn versus Aneesa is a bad decision by Jenn. Aneesa weighs more than Jenn is a little bigger than Jenn in general. This is a terrible match-up for most of the duels. If Jenn was smart and there to win and not to make friends then she should pick Diem. I bet she could beat Diem in the pushing contest and the wrestling contest. She probably would be at a disadvantage in the climbing contest. Also Jenn and Diem could rub up against each other. I honestly would pay to see that.

12. YES! YES! YES! YES! She picked Diem! They should just handcuff them together and be forced to stay that way forever. They have to do everything together. And one day I will meet them and the three of us will runaway to that distant paradise called Utah and we’ll be married to each other. And after a few years, I’ll marry another girl as well who is 20 because now those two will be 30 and over the hill so I’ll need a young wife. This marrying of a younger wife would happen periodically. Eventually, I’ll get an even younger wife, but this time I’ll have gone pretty crazy living in Utah with all these wives that I’ll convince this new one that I need to drink a little of her blood every other day to make me young again. At this point, the wives will either be so bored and so many of them that they don’t even notice the shit I do or they’ll gang up and kill me for being a vampire. Uh… So I hope Jenn and Diem take a shower together for the challenge.

13. Why does Rachel dress like Jeff Hardy? She’s attractive, couldn’t she just dress normal?

14. Diem is going to make the best hot bitchy suburban wife one day. She is definitely going to settle down and have kids. I think I mentioned this before, but she will always be in shape. She is a girl who will stay in shape through spite. All the husbands will want to fuck her and all the wives will secretly hate her because of that and because she stays thin. I think it is great that she is actually practicing for the event. It shows initiative since it is probably the only event they can recreate in their living room.

15. Derek’s going to lose. Fuck Derek for thinking he looks remotely cool with that Mohawk. No one cares about Derek. I bet he doesn’t even care about himself. He is hanging out in the bathroom for Christ’s sake. Who does that? Also Derek was terrible at the last climbing event he was in. Evan should beat him just for that reason alone.

16. Evan is “reading” again. MTV stop trying to convince me that Evan can read. He can’t. None of them can.

17. Derek is maybe the worst climber ever. Evan should’ve been a real prick and took hours to complete that puzzle because Derek would never have been able to capitalize. Evan could’ve taken a nap and Derek wouldn’t have snuck in a victory.

18. Jenn looks sexy as always and Diem looks so fucking cute with her two braids. Diem wins round 1. *Commercial Break* GO SEE TRANSFORMERS! – I’m seeing it. It looks good. Back to the duel. And Diem wins! I guess that practice really helped her out. Jenn should’ve practiced. It was a good move by her to pick Diem, I’ll stick by that, but her strategy minus the initial hit was minimal. She needed to stay low. Didn’t she ever take a peak at the football games while she was a cheerleader? Also, she kept turning into Diem after contact which is a terrible move.

19. I don’t know what Aneesa and Rachel just said to each other, but Aneesa’s not getting into Rachel’s pants. That exchange did not look friendly.

Real World/Road Rules Challenges: The Duel II – episode 7

1. I’m really over this beginning. If the MTV website wasn’t such crap I would fast-forward through it, but knowing their “media player” I’ll somehow delete the episode.

2. Oof hot tub action. Paula’s and Jenn’s breasts look like flotation devices which means they look fucking excellent.

3. With CT not in the house, I’m not sure why these guys aren’t hitting on Diem all day everyday. You’ll probably have to fight CT in the end, but that won’t be for months plus he’s so wet brained he may not even remember by that point.

4. Unless the producers forced me to sit in my room having shirtless conversations with the other dudes then there would be a 100% chance that would never occur if I was on the show.

5. Another wildly ambitious challenge put together by MTV. They’re hanging in mid-air, pulling ropes and that somehow will trigger a powder keg to explode and win you a set of stereo speakers. Same shit, different day.

6. Uh, what? I was wrong. So if the powder keg goes off you lost and you are dropped from the sky. You still win the stereo speakers and probably blood clots in their legs. It is pretty funny seeing the chicks run when the keg is about to explode.

7. It will be amazing if these guys have any sensation in their junk ever again with those rigs cutting off the circulation in their legs. And Evan believes so as well as he asks to be DQed. Great fucking event MTV. I hope Tori realizes the longer Brad is in the competition the less of a chance they’ll have to conceive a child together. Actually that is great news for the world. Go Brad!… and he loses.

8.  Landon wins again. But his balls might as well be a fleshy patch in his pants like a Ken doll.

9. Go ladies go! If you win – you’ll have successfully stretched your vagina like you’re the Octuplet mom and you’ll definitely have constricted your ovaries to the point of being infertile.

10. Brittini wins. She is very attractive with her boobs, butt, and tall/slim model body. I have heard from reputable sources like Jessica Biel it is hard to get ahead in this world being that attractive so I’m really pulling for Brittini and Jessica. I’m really “pulling” for them, really “tugging away”, *wink* *wink* am I right?

11. Why is Mark chiseled out of granite? Why is Mark oiled up and walking around the house in a cowboy hat? Why cannot I not divert my eyes for a single second even while I am typing this?

12. The elimination picking is a lot less dramatic inside the house instead of out on some hill with crazy sweeping camera angles. It looks more like a dress rehearsal. Nevertheless, Paula and Dunbar are the last picked.

13. Paula vs. Aneesa in “Back Off”. Dunbar vs. MJ in “the Elevator”.  This is bad news for Paula. Aneesa is bigger, weighs more, is a lesbian and is grimy. This is a bad bad match-up. I really don’t know why she picked Aneesa outside of her not liking her (racism). A good match-up for Paula is Diem. Not particularly athletic in any area and she is also very pretty as well so she doesn’t have that ruggedness that Aneesa will bring. MJ is a tough competitor with his size, but “the Elevator” is one of the better scenarios for Dunbar. I think Aneesa and Dunbar win.

14. This is definitely one of those occasions that I wish I had sound. It looks like there is some subplot anger between Derek and Dunbar. I would guess it is from Derek looking like a God damn idiot with his faux-hawk. As mentioned Dunbar’s vision is similar to a T-Rex and he can only really make out the large point at the top of Derek’s head. This is a sign of hostility in Dunbar’s mind and thusly he believes Derek is always poised to strike him. It is common sense.

15. If I was on this show, anytime Evan opened his mouth to say anything I would walk out of the room.

16. All black women know how to do cornrows. It is only racist or a generalization if you can prove me wrong. Prove me wrong!  

17. Cornrows or no cornrows, I’ll be surprised if MJ wins. I think his height will work against him in that cage. Also unless Dunbar’s huge biceps are purely cosmetic then he should be pretty excellent at lifting weight.

18. 2 men enter [the cage] and 1 man leaves… actually both men leave. They leave perfectly healthy and maybe a little tired. They may even be healthier from the high impact aerobic exercise. Dunbar lost. He sucks. Why even have big muscles if you can’t… oh wait – he probably gets laid a lot from hot girls who like guys with muscles.

19. Aneesa: I hate you and you hate me, but for Christ’s sake tear Paula’s shirt off!

20. Aneesa won. Nice last ditch effort by Paula, but she’s an idiot for going against Aneesa in the first place. If I was a betting man I would say Dunbar and Paula are about to join the Mile High club.

21. This episode had zero Eric. It had almost no Landon and he won. All Dunbar, Evan, Brad and a lot of MJ looking super serious. Did he have his sense of humor surgically removed? What the hell is there to be so serious about?

Wilco (The Album)
8.8 out of 10

With its two humped camel in a fez cover, “Wilco (the album)” shows this venerable American rock and roll band is still enjoying themselves. But the decision to release their latest record for free via their web site was also a logical real-world nod to the inevitability that it would be leaked before its scheduled release date of June 30th. Wilco’s decision also serves as an example of how various technological advancements have forced acts to take greater direct control over their content.

As a band that has always made their living playing live, it should be no surprise that Wilco would somewhat embrace the Radiohead model, knowing that getting the album out will create a strong buzz for their upcoming international tour as well understanding that their core audience will ultimately purchase the LP upon its release, regardless.
The album itself is a frank and aggressive assertion by the band, who were criticized by the hipster blogosphere for its laid back and atmospheric approach on “Sky Blue Sky.”

“Wilco (the song)”, which has been a touring staple for a couple of years, begins this album with a straight forward and rocking message from the band to its fans: “no matter how bad it gets, no matter how desperate the situation, Wilco’s music will be there for you.” This is an idea of universality and collectivism that Tweedy has hit on before with “What Light” when he opined that once you release art it automatically is viewed by the audience through their own prism, which frames their connection to the work; a connection that my not be what the artist originally intended, but a connection that is still beautiful and meaningful.

“Deeper Down” and “Solitaire” are small and unpretentious songs that each harbor hints of the sparse construction found throughout Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, but each lacks the elemental viscerally of its forerunner.

“One Wing” is a classic Jeff Tweedy ballad that the band layers with arrangements giving the song a drama that would not be possible delivered only by a singer songwriter. The song is very moving and serves as a reminder of how candidly heart breaking Wilco’s music is; it is an earnestness that is equal parts punk rock and country folk.

“One Wing” is also an eloquent example of the biggest difference between this album and “Sky Blue Sky,” their first with guitar master Nels Cline, which is that Cline’s talents are seamlessly interwoven in “Wilco (the album)” instead of standing out so drastically during “Sky.” Too often on their previous record it seemed as though the band combined elements that did not fit together as a means to make room for Cline’s guitar prowess, here his guitar playing is always advancing the larger idea.

“Bull Black Nova” asserts a more aggressive band, one that is comfortable engaging the kinetic nature of rock and roll while infusing it with an agitated in your face indifference that harkens back to the underground college radio heydays of the 1980’s.

What is destined to be the most popular song from this album is “You and I” the uplifting duet with Jeff Tweedy and Feist. I predict this song will be a staple on the mixed tapes of new lovers for years to come. “You and I” is a romantic contemplation about misunderstanding your lover, but still ultimately realizing the good out weighs the bad. It is a tasteful and modern version of the timeless Nashville duets dating back to June and Johnny Cash. Feist’s and Tweedy’s voices are well-suited for each other mainly because Feist’s vocals are deep for a female which allows Tweedy the freedom to fully embrace the folk love ballad tradition while keeping the song anchored to her steady harmony.

“You Never Know” and “Country Disappeared” are Wilco as elder statesmen, dispensing advice to those younger than them, while also imploring these same people to understand destiny is in their hands. “You Never Know” explores the generational divide and demands that we “act our age” through the convergence of rollicking guitars blended with jamming piano and three part harmonies which conjures up the best of The Band. “Country Disappeared” is a more intimate moment that speaks to the individual through slow contemplation and nostalgic arrangements.

“I’ll Fight” is my favorite song on the album. It is pure Americana redemption through rock and roll with themes that speak to our desires and the irrational nature of our emotions. “I’ll Fight” is about the decision to fight and making your stand as a way to prove more than just the worth of your persons, but the worth of your ideals. This is another example of my favorite style of song writing, one tells the listener that in order to really be free we have to realize the inevitable, and not be afraid.

“Sonny Feeling” is a straight-forward and comfortable mid-American rock song that is full of elements of folk and blues that are organically found on the banks of the muddy Mississippi.

“Everlasting Everything” is an operatic ending to the album. The song is a heavy-handed moral condemnation of materialism and consumerism at the expense of the only commodity that matters: love. It is the weakest moment on the album and one that seems to be out of place and incoherent as compared to the entire record, but Wilco often uses the last song on a LP to toy with different ideas and song structures not found elsewhere on the release.

Overall the album is an excellent listen, simultaneously more aggressive than “Sky Blue Sky” while also being more cohesive than “A Ghost is Born”. While not as breathtaking an artistic achievement as “Yankee Hotel Foxtrot”, “Wilco (the album)” serves as a reminder of this bands staying power, impact, and will not undoubtedly add another pillar to this band’s stellar catalog.

Real World/Road Rules ChallengesL The Duel II – episode 6

Uhhhh… well MTV doesn’t have any pictures up from this episode on their website, so I will just post pictures of Paula instead.  

1. This episode is called “Dueling for Dunbar”, I’m going to go with common logic and think that would mean Dunbar will be in the duel tonight. Although, this is MTV so they may think “dueling” means “taking ‘roids, looking confused at all times, and having no personality” so it would be a typical day for good ole’ Dunbar.

2. Guys love grilling. I guess the women are all anorexic because they are never seen eating. The girls are probably throwing up in the bathroom or putting on more make-up for the cameras. Meanwhile the guys are always eating because they need to pack on the LBs for their chest reps later. At some point on the “Duel IX”, the girls will each weigh 50 pounds and be carried around in baby bjorns by the 500 pounds of muscle guys.

3. Paula arguing with Dunbar, Paula leaves Dunbar, Dunbar sits looking serious and confused, Dunbar confesses to Kimberly, Aneesa looks like an idiot…

4. The girls are prettying up the boys, like that’s possible, with moisturizer masks. That was some phenomenal acting by the guys pretending like that has not been done to them everyday for that past 5 years. Those guys get manicure/pedicure combos every Tuesday. Who are they trying to fool? Themselves… they are living a lie!

5. I could see why Paula thinks Kimberly is a threat. I would imagine all of Dunbar’s muscles have crowded his already ill-formed brain. At this point he is more like a T-Rex: he only senses movement. From his perspective all Paula is a skinny white blur with short blonde hair, big fake boobs and is always hassling him, which is not that far from the truth. Kimberly to him is a skinny white blur with short blonde hair, not no boobs because there has to be boobs, but not big and fake, and is never hassling him, which is not that far from truth. Paula sees she could easily lose Dunbar to Kimberly if she doesn’t stake claim to him; she could also easily lose him in a crowd of skinny white blonde women because he would just go with whoever took his hand first.

6. I wouldn’t say Derek is smart because I would probably classify all of these people as mildly retarded, but he is making smart moves. Kimberly got all worked up with Dunbar, but he got taken away by Paula so here is ole’ Derek grabbing the rebound. Smart isn’t the word. You wouldn’t say a monkey is particularly smart to jump in water if it was on fire, you would say that was instinctual.

7. This challenge is sponsored by the Army. It is good to know the Army spends our tax dollars appropriately. “Should we use this money to put needed armor on the humvees?” “Uh… nope. We’re going to sponsor an athletic climbing challenge on an MTV reality show.” “Oh yeah, I’m a dumbass for the whole keep the troops safe thing.”

8. So they’re climbing that great ladder in the sky. Not to be confused with Jacob’s ladder. Although if it was a metaphor for that ladder then I would fucking love MTV. Nevertheless, it must be boring as hell watching these people climb this in real time. It took Kimberly and Derek 18 minutes and it took Paula/Dunbar 12. This event must’ve lasted for days.

9. They need a cake eating contest so Eric can just win an event or a “who can fall to the Earth fastest” contest or who is the most overweight or who has the highest cholesterol et cetera.

10. Landon wins every challenge. They need to throw him in the duel immediately if/when he loses a single challenge. I would just cut his hamstrings when he was asleep. That’s how I play. I listen to the Wu-Tang Clan.

11. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Paula’s fucking incredible. She caught Dunbar and Kimberly in the woods together. Even better Dunbar has a girlfriend at home apparently that he is cheating on with Paula and now Kimberly as well. Now that they’ve been caught they are just openly cuddling on the couch in front of Paula. Now is the time to swoop in and get Paula. Let’s see if Derek is smart enough to see the tables have turned and now Paula is the weak one and not Kimberly.

12. Derek just got fucked getting picked last in my opinion, but this should be funny – Dunbar has to choose between Paula and Kimberly to throw into the duel. Hysterical. Choose between slightly old pussy vs. brand new pussy. He picked slightly old. And Kimberly now should feel like a complete idiot… I mean more than usual because of the whole “my career is being on a reality TV program.”

13. Eric vs. Derek in “Duel Pole Dancing”. Kimberly vs. Jenn in “Push Over”. I think Derek and Jenn are winning. Jenn is wider and shorter so a better low center of gravity than the ultra skinny and tall Kimberly. Meanwhile I can’t imagine Eric getting his ass up that pole no matter what food joke is at the top of it.

14. This is the most awkward challenge ever. Neither can climb all that well. Eric definitely can’t so he just keeps pulling Derek off of it. And Kimberly is flipping out of her mind on the sideline. Finally Derek won. Now Eric will walk into the woods and hibernate until the next RW/RR challenge or he’ll go to a the local Friday’s and get wasted on Jack Daniels’ BBQ sauce until the next challenge.

15. Jenn won easily. I don’t know why she picked Jenn. She should have gone against Brittini. Size wise they match up pretty well. Or Paula,or Diem or Tori, I have not seen any of them doing anything all that athletic.

16. A clip of Dunbar reading and writing. That is 100% fake. That guy cannot read or write. They should have just digitally edited him walking on water. That I would believe over him knowing how to read and/or write.

17. I have no clue what was happening in the next episode from that teaser. Someone may have died and then was blown up, or vice versa.